I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
