Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
