she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
