The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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