Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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