Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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