we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
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I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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