I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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