I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm like, not good at living.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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