Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
