I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
