You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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