Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
