What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
