i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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