Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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