I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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