I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize