I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
