what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize