Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
