You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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