There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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