First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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