Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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