I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
