oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
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