Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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