It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There r osticjed everywhere
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
