How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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