after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
