Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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