Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
where are my eyebrows?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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