OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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