im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He passed out mid-signature
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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