That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
