This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
