He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
