Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize