they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
