he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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