one might say we're banned from that church
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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