i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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