You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
