Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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