Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Do vagina's smell?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize