Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Rumble strips road head = magical
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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