i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
