have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
