So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
