seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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