I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
