Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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