i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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