just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My penis needs a shock collar
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
