Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
