I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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