he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
