i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
