Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
