please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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