I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
