He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
