I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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