Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
