lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize