I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
