you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
