We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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