k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
