Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
